Friday, April 20, 2007

Kids Sound Bite Retrospective, Part I

I didn't give myself much time to post an entry today.

I will report that last night I broke one of the DVDs from my 17-disc Avengers Emma Peel Megaset, taking it out of the box. It was stuck to the spindle, and I heard the sickening radial snap that rendered it unplayable.

I was able to reorder just this one disc through www.originalavengers.com...expensively. But I must have a full set of this chic and campy B&W classic. Besides, I think this disc includes the episode where Emma adorns herself with whips, chains, and scanty leathers.

Thank you to Meera for gathering together eloquent moments in our children's lives, mostly reported in Table Talk, Salon.com's on-line community, where she and I have been members since around the time our first son was born.

She recently emailed this around to family members, and I thought I'd include it here, along with some school portraits of the boys that I recently scanned:
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Jan 9, 2003

I called Julian "sweet stuff" when I was putting him down for his nap, and he said, "I'm not made of sweet stuff like sugar! I'm made of blood and bones and skin!"
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Jan 10, 2003

....Julian was riffing tonight at bedtime on the phrase "chocolate rocket". "It's just pretend," he explained, and started handing me little imaginary chocolate rockets, "They're very little. I put them in a box." I told him I liked the way it sounded. "From a socket," he said.
...."From a socket?" I asked, not sure what he meant. I was thinking plug socket.
...."What's this part?" and he pointed to the side of his eye.
...."That's right, that's your eye socket, the hole where your eyeball sits. So, a chocolate rocket flying from an eye socket, nice. Did you make that up?"
...."It's a song," he told me, with a tone implying I should know that, and started sing-songily, "Cho! c'late! Ro! cket!"
...."Where did you hear it?"
...."At the museum." He paused in thought and then added, "Far, far away."
...."What museum?"
...."At my wedding." Hmm, I wondered where this sequence of thoughts came from, without a clue—he hasn't been to any museums or weddings lately—and chalked it up to pure imagination.

....We went on to talk about other things, and then said goodnight to each other. As I was leaving his room he said softly, "I will sing the eyeball song."
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Jan 24, 2003 –

Last night I was lecturing Julian about his incessant use of "Why?" as a response when we tell him to do something or not to do something. I was pretty annoyed with him because he was running around doing all those things he's not supposed to be doing, so I scolded him and told him to stop saying "why" and just do it.

He didn't skip a beat and said, "But can I say the letter `Y'?"
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Feb 2, 2003 –

I was telling Julian about the Space Shuttle tragedy today, the day after he had said to me that he wanted to go up in a "paceship" and I had said that he could, if he worked hard, was very smart, and very brave.

I told him that the space shuttle had broken up when it was coming back home, and that the astronauts had died. He said to me, "My space ship won't break up. I won't die."

"I sure hope not."

"Will your space ship break up?"

"No, honey, I don't think I want to ever go in a space ship. It's too scary to me."

"You can go in mine. It will be safe. You have to be brave."
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Feb 2, 2003 –-

This is kind of a daddy shaggy dog sound bite:

Last night after an endless process of folding several loads of laundry, I started putting it away. Meera had folded and stacked all of Julian's underwear (I never understood the reasoning of folding underwear, but then, I'm a guy.) Julian has been asserting his independence lately, insisting on doing things himself...that's a good thing. But when I picked up his clothes to take to his dresser he shouted, "I WANT TO DO IT!" and rushed over and grabbed the stack of underwear. I tried to stop him because he was totally unfolding them and crumpling them together. He upped the decibel level and emphasis of his protest: "I...WANT...TO...DO...IT!!!"

So I said...

...........wait for it now...

........"Don't get your panties in a bunch."
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Feb 17, 2003 –

For some reason Julian is accepting the Catch-22 I've been giving him the past few nights. For quite some time he's been insisting when I leave him, after reading stories, that I come back in fifteen minutes to check on him. Lately I've been telling him I'll only come back if he's asleep. "I will be!" he says eagerly. And each time he has gone right to sleep.

In contrast to him being wide awake after each fifteen minute interval with his eyes fixed obsessively on the digital clock, chanting creepily the mantra "fifteen minutes".
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Mar 14, 2003 –


Julian and I had the funniest conversation the other day. We were driving and J. was talking to himself, as he usually does. All of a sudden he pipes up, "Mama, what is God?"

OK, I think, the difficult questions begin, and he's only three.

So I go into the whole "some people believe in this, some people believe that, some people believe that god looks like a man, some people believe god is everywhere, some people don't think that there is a god at all..."

"But they're wrong, aren't they, Mama."

"Well, I don't know. It's something that you have to figure out for yourself."

Silence for a few minutes.

"What is God doing right now, Mama?"

"I don't know, honey. What do you think he is doing?"

"I think he's going to work. And what is Mama God doing, Mama?"

I'm giggling. Mama God. "I don't know, honey, what do you think she's doing?"

"I think she's pumping milk for Kid God."

I'm laughing now. "And what do you think Kid God is doing?"

"Kid God is a dinosaur. A Tyranosaurus Rex. Rawwwwwoooorrr!"
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Mar 17, 2003 –

Speaking of child astronomy, I was leafing through a great big book about the universe with Julian the other night , and when we got to a chapter about constellations, I was naming them and describing them to him. He suddenly burst out fervently for me to show him his constellation. I told him I was sorry but I didn't think there was a Julian constellation. He started shouting indignantly, "Yes There Is!" I tried to appease him, but had to tell him I really didn't think there was. I kept flipping through the pages in the act of looking. He then pointed to one. "That's it, that's my constellation."

"Scorpio?"
"Yes! That's mine!"

I told Meera about this and she said she had showed the constellation for his sign to him but didn't really think he was paying attention.

He was of course impressed by its resemblance to the letter J.
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Apr 2, 2003 –

Julian's most recent career ambitions:

"When I grow up, I will be President of the United States. My name will be Julian Franklin George."
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May 25, 2003 –


"Fireworks are my favorite fire!"

Julian's excited exclamation when he stumbled on the fireworks setting on the RealAudio player.
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Jun 20, 2003 –

Julian has this annoying habit of shoving his thin books down the crack between the wall and his bed. It's a big heavy wood futon frame which is a real pain to move in order to retrieve them, so I try to reason with him to get him not to do it. Sometimes I guess he just can't resist the temptation.

So, the other night he went ahead and did it again, slipping his Peter and the Wolf book down there. "Now why did you go and do that? Now we won't be able to read it."

He glanced up for a moment as a thought came into his head, along with a smile, then he looked at me and said, "But the bugs will!"
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Jul 1, 2003 –

The other night as I was leaning over to kiss Julian good night he said, "I bid you farewell," with a regal sweep of the hand.

I have no idea where he picked this up!
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Sep 22, 2003 –

The following may be just a tad nauseating, but here goes.

We stayed overnight at a friend's place on Saturday and Julian woke up at about 4:30 in the morning and couldn't get back to sleep. Meera and I were asleep on a futon on the floor with the baby between us. Julian wedged himself in and wanted to snuggle up to the baby. We told him to go back to sleep and leave the baby alone. He whined, "But I have hugs in me, and I need to get them out."
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Dec 2, 2003 –


We have an unwanted lodger in the house, currently occupying a place in the wall behind the sink.

We have been talking about getting a cat for some time now; maybe after our Christmas vacation. Meera and I and Julian, age 4, were talking about what to name this hypothetical cat, when Julian suggested we call it "Eat Rat".
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Dec 13, 2003 –

Julian was playing a video game and chattering to himself, and then out of the blue he said, "I can't believe we have a baby! He's soooo cute!"
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Dec 13, 2003 –

Julian calls Gabriel "Little". "Hello, Little!"
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Jan 25, 2004 –

Julian came up with this the other day...

He was being his normal, difficult 4-year-old self and having trouble listening, as is, unfortunately, becoming more and more common. Finally, after telling him "no" about fourteen times in a row, I said to him, "What part of NO don't you understand?!!"

He looked at me and said, "Nnnnn. Nnnnn. Nnnnnn."

grrrr.
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