Friday, April 20, 2007

Kids Sound Bite Retrospective, Part II

Mar 16, 2004 –

Julian said something yesterday in the car that made me laugh.

I had just gotten a pedicure on Sunday--something I haven't ever done in his memory. He was very impressed with my shiny, painted toenails.

I picked him up from school after a long day, and while we were driving away, he said,

"I have to say hello to your toenails. I haven't seen them Allllll Day!" [Editor's note: This is Meera's story, in case you were wondering...]
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May 25, 2004 –

Julian's thing recently has been to talk about how he can fly and live in the clouds. I asked him if other people live there, too, and he said yes, lots of people live there...

"And sometimes they poop on people's heads. Except Superman. His poops are asteroids."
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Jun 8, 2004 –

Whenever I laugh at something I read on Table Talk, it gets Gabriel giggling, too. It makes me aware that I LOL a lot more than I realized.

And he is an avid vocalist and a very sophisticated babbler, bust still only has three recognizable words in his vocabulary: Mama, Da-Da and Na-Na (Banana).

Oh, and he will go "ahhh" gutterally after taking a drink. And say num-num when he anticipates particularly tasty food, whether it be breast milk or something else.
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Dec 14, 2004 –

Two gems from Julian tonight:

While he was going to bed and babbling about holidays, he very seriously said, "I want my own holiday. I will call it 'Thumbtack Day'."

And the other funny one---

"Daddy said that I can't use scissors without supervision. I see just fine."
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Jan 24, 2005 –
Julian and I had this exchange:

Me:......You know what, Julian?
Julian: What?
Me:......I looooooove you!
Julian: Stop saying that!
Me:......Why?
Julian: 'cause I already know that!
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Jun 11, 2005 –

I was driving with Julian the other night, and we were headed to a restaurant to meet Nicholas. We were probably going to get there at about the same time.

A jerk cut me off, and, as I usually do when some one is rude on the road, I uttered a "DUDE!!".

Julian then said, "Mama, if Daddy cuts in front of you, don't call him 'Dude'."

beat

"Call him 'butthead'."
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Aug 2, 2005 –

So a friend sent us a nice package of old videos and a stuffed bear that we got in the mail yesterday. Upon its opening, Gabriel claimed the bear as his own, holding it close and cuddling it. Julian said to me, "That's going to make me cry!"

Anticipating that it was going to be one of those sibling rivalry things and he was going to say something about wanting the bear, I warily said, "Why will it make you cry?"

"Because Gabriel is so so cute!"

He really did seem to almost have tears in his eyes. I kid you not.

awwwwwww.
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Aug 8, 2005 –

The other day...

Julian: Mama, where's [some little piece of detritus that I can't remember right now... like a little toy or something]?
Me: Where did you put it?
Julian: [Some obscure place]
Me: Well, god knows where it is now.
Julian: Could we pray for help to find it?

I don't know... in some families this exchange wouldn't be that unusual, but it had me laughing...
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Aug 29, 2005 –

So Julian and I were driving home the other day (amazing how so many of these things happen in the car; I suppose we're captive audiences for each other), and we were talking about the solar system and things that were in it. I listed planets, moons, asteroids, lot of dust, and oh yeah, comets. He asked what they were made of and how they moved. I told him I wasn't exactly sure, but I'm sure that it had to do with gravity.

"How much gravity?"

"I don't really know, sweetie. It's very complicated. I'm not even sure how to measure gravity, even."

"I think it's measured by God's handful."

Wow. Not only would "God's Handful" be a great title for a book, but wow! How did he think of that?
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Aug 30, 2005 –

Reminds me... Gabriel's word for bowel movements is "yucky poo-poo". But he has trouble with the "y" sound, so it comes out as "lucky poo-poo"! Cracks me up every time.

"Mama, lucky poo-poo inna die-poo!"

Yet he still isn't potty trained.
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Oct 17, 2005 –

Julian said something funny yesterday. We were having a picnic and a yellow jacket landed on the chicken of my sandwich. Instead of shoo-ing it away, I watched its little jaws work on the meat, eventually carrying off a little bit to share with its yellow jacket friends. Of course, the entire hive (do yellow jackets live in a hive?) comes out to join us, resulting in a scurrying to cover all meat- or fruit-related food items. Later, Julian and I went off to take a walk, but it meant walking by the path where the yellow jackets had retreated. (Perhaps their nest? hive? flock? I dunno) was near the path.

Julian hung back, being concerned about passing them. I told him, "You don't have anything to worry about unless you're a hunk of meat."

He looked up at me, and said, "But we ARE a hunk of meat!"
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Jan 24, 2006 –

The other day, Julian and I were driving, listening to my book on tape, the very adult (only in complexity, not in terms of X-rated) Patrick O'Brian series, in which one of the characters was lamenting the onset of middle age. Julian and I got to talking about middle age, and I said something along the lines of not looking forward to more grey hair and wrinkles and getting old, O woe is me.

He said, very seriously, "That's okay, Mama, at least you have your health. That's the most important thing."

Maybe you had to be there, but I just about drove off the road I was laughing so hard.
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Feb 7, 2006 –

Gabriel, playing with his mylar birthday balloon, while shaking his finger at it:

"You stay here. Is that clear?"
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Feb 13, 2006 –

I was sitting in on Julian's class on Friday. (He's in first grade.) The kids were all talking about Presidents' Day. The teacher asked, "Does anyone know who the president is right now?"

Hands shot up, and one of the kids said, "George Bush."

Julian, sitting in the front row, couldn't contain himself any longer and blurted out, in a put-upon tone, "He's been president my whole, entire LIFE!"

Poor kid.

(The teacher almost couldn't contain her giggles at that one.)
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Apr 28, 2006 –

I put Winged Migration on for Gabriel while he munched on an off-brand of strawberry pop tart...

When the big moon is shown at the beginning of the film, asking Gabriel if he knows what that is, and having him tell me it's a fork. Puzzling on him calling it a fork, which led to

Me: Do you mean spoon?
Gaby: Yeah, spoon.
Me: Do you mean moon?
Gaby: Yeah.
Me: Did you get fork mixed up with spoon, and spoon mixed up with moon?
Gaby: Yeah.
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Jun 5, 2006 –

Today I was driving Gaby to daycare, and it was a beautiful morning. I spontaneously broke out in song:

Morning has broken, like the first---

"Mama, moe-ning isn't bwoken, it FIXED! And the twees are fixed, and da fwowers, and da kitties... and da clouds. Dey not bwoken, they all FIXED!"
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Sep 21, 2006 –

I was asking Gabriel which shoes he wanted to wear, sandals, sneakers, or his monster slip-on shoes. He kept asking for the "tire" shoes. Tire shoes? shoes made of tires? we don't have those, I don't understand...

Frustrated, he picked up his sneakers. "TIRE shoes!"

"Why are you calling them 'tire shoes'? They're not made of tires."

"'cause dey TIE! you TIE them!"

Oh. Silly me.
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Feb 12, 2007 –

Not two minutes ago, from Gabriel:
"If you sit on kitties, they pop."

A few weeks ago, while eating an absolutely divine danish:
"I loooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooove this!"
After finishing it:
"I'm done eating, and now my tummy loooooooOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooves this!"
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Apr 2, 2007 –

Yesterday Gabriel came into the bedroom, naked as a jaybird. "I'm NAKED! I'm NAKED!!!" while he did a little dance around the room.

"Why are you naked?" Puzz asked.

"'cause I took off my shirt, and my pants, and my underpants, and my socks and my shoes!"

Simple, direct, to the point.
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Apr 17, 2007 –

We're having a sick day today, beginning at 5:00AM this morning with Gabriel puking all over my pajamas. After many bouts of upchucking, Gabriel asked for some water, and greedily slurped it down. Too fast, it turns out. Not five minutes later, he projectile-spewed all over the bed. "I can't drink water now, Mama; I exploded like fizzy water." Then he looked at me sorrowfully and said, "It's gwoss, Mama."

He's feeling much better now, and is eating normally, though he has a fever. I'm doing laundry today.

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